Let’s be honest: most of us are our own worst critics. You know that voice in your head, the one that tells you you’re not doing enough, not good enough, or just falling short? Yeah, that one. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Being hard on yourself might feel productive at times—like you’re pushing yourself to be better—but in reality, it’s draining. You deserve better, and being kinder to yourself isn’t just a nice idea; it’s essential for your well-being.
Here are a few real, practical ways to start being kinder to yourself.
You know that voice—the one that says you’re not working hard enough, you’re not good enough, or you’ve messed everything up? It’s time to start questioning it. Often, we let our negative thoughts run wild without ever asking, Is this even true? The next time that voice comes in hot with criticism, pause. Ask yourself: Would I talk to a friend this way? Likely not. By challenging that inner critic, you create space to see things more clearly and give yourself some much-needed compassion.
2. Start journaling your thoughts
Journaling might sound like something simple, but it’s one of the most powerful tools for being kinder to yourself. Writing down your thoughts helps you gain perspective and lets you see patterns in how you talk to yourself. You can start by reflecting on the times you were hard on yourself, or simply jot down a few positive things that happened during the day. You don’t have to be a perfect writer or know exactly what to say—just let it flow. You’d be surprised at how much kindness can emerge from seeing your thoughts on paper. And if you need a structure, my Journal Template is the perfect place to start. It’ll guide you through reflecting on your emotions and helping you reframe that negative self-talk.
3. Focus on progress, not perfection
We live in a world obsessed with perfection. Social media, movies, even people around us seem to be living these flawless lives. But let me remind you: perfection is a myth. Real growth happens when you focus on progress. Celebrate the small wins—the little moments where you moved forward, even if it wasn’t perfect. Maybe you didn’t get everything on your to-do list done, but you completed a few things. That’s a win. Maybe you didn’t handle a situation perfectly, but you learned from it. Another win. Shifting your mindset from perfection to progress can help you be gentler on yourself when things don’t go as planned.
4. Set boundaries with yourself
Here’s something you might not hear often: being kind to yourself also means setting boundaries with yourself. Sometimes, we push ourselves way too hard—working late into the night, skipping meals, or overcommitting to things we know will drain us. Recognize when you’re doing too much, and set a boundary. Give yourself permission to rest, say no, or take a step back when you need it. This isn’t about being lazy or giving up; it’s about preserving your energy so you can show up as your best self when it matters.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison is the thief of joy. We’ve all heard it, but it’s still something we fall into, especially when we scroll through social media and see everyone’s highlight reel. The truth is, you don’t know the full story behind anyone’s life, and comparing yourself to an edited version of someone else’s reality only harms you. When you catch yourself comparing, pause and remind yourself that everyone’s journey is different. Instead, focus on your own growth and what you want out of life, not what others are doing. That’s where true kindness to yourself begins.
6. Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities
Mistakes are inevitable, but how you react to them is entirely up to you. Instead of beating yourself up every time something goes wrong, try reframing your mistakes as learning opportunities. Every misstep holds valuable lessons if you’re willing to look for them. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? What could I do differently next time? This shift in perspective not only helps you grow but also removes the unnecessary guilt or shame that often comes with making mistakes.
7. Practice self-forgiveness
Self-forgiveness is one of the hardest, yet most important, acts of kindness you can offer yourself. We often hold onto past mistakes or failures, letting them weigh us down for far too long. But think about it: if you forgive others for their missteps, why not extend that same grace to yourself? Start practicing self-forgiveness by acknowledging where things went wrong and then letting go of the guilt. It’s okay to have moments where you didn’t do your best. You’re human. Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward.
At the end of the day, being kinder to yourself is about treating yourself with the same compassion, patience, and understanding that you offer others. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Start small—challenge that inner critic, write down your thoughts, celebrate progress, and set boundaries.
You deserve to be kind to yourself. See you next time for another Soulution!
